How do I begin?

In medias res... because that's how I roll.  After a busy day at work of looking online for funny things to do with a banana, I'm headed to the Y for an hour of fun and games on the treadmill.  Why the treadmill today?  Glad you asked!  Because once I set that timer, I'm not going to increase it, and there's only so much damage I can do to my legs in an hour.  Also, I like to make the trainers nervous that I'm going to overheat another one of their machines.  I prefer to feign ignorance when this happens.